Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
