who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
