just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
