Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
