PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
