Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
