I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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