Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
