I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
