I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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