we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
