he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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