I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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