you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
