At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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