Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
