I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize