But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
