I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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