There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
