Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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