Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
