I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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