where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
