remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
