Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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