I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
