Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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