no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize