The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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