a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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