I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
