well I can't set my house on fire every night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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