Do you still have your period?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
