just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize