4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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