The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
