apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
