guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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