all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
