The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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