my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
