Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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