He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
