Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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