i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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