We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
