I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
