Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I did not marry a roomba.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
