yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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