Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
