What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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