you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
