You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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