...so i touched it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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