dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
