so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
