I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
