I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
