yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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