i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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