i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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