your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
