just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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