In the future we'll all be gay
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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