Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
