Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
false alarm. still invincible.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
