I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
