Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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